At your age!

I was just looking at Madonna's Myspace page. She gets a lot of comments like "you look good for yr age" and "wow, I hope I look that good when I'm your age." Is it just me, or are these backhanded compliments? "Wow you look great, considering you've just been hit by a bus." It's not a compliment if it's conditional.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older and don't really want a comment like "You look good for a 37 year old." Just tell me I look Hot! You see where I'm coming from? You know where I'm going to? ENGLAND AND IRELAND Buster! See you in a few weeks.

ONE MORE DAY

This time tomorrow I'll be... actually sitting here. But tomorrow we fly off to England!! I'm really excited now. Even got all my stuff ready. Way too many clothes. Certanly more than I normally wear in two weeks. Why do we do that?
I've also filled up my PSP with music. More than I would listen to in a week. Notice that we're leaving Indiana just as the temperatures get into the 70's. Oh well, should be well into spring when I return.

Other news.... I WON the poker last night! And I didn't even think I was playing that well. I think it was more a case of people not catching cards. And Doug going all in right at the end when I had an Ace helped. Nice feeling though.

If I don't get a chance to Blog tomorrow, and I don't see any of you, have a nice time without me and I'll see you in a few weeks.

Less than a week

And I don't really feel like I'm going on vacation yet. I'm looking forward to it. LOTS. Get to see my family and England and Ireland, which I've never really seen. And the places we're staying look fantastic. But I just haven't wound myself up into the pre-holiday frenzy that I normally have. Maybe when we actually leave for the airport the excitement will kick in.

That's all. Just thought I'd mention it.

Unlikely

So it now seems slightly less likely that I'll get the promotion at work. Like it wasn't enough to have to compete for the position with at least 5 qualified people, I now have to contend with the fact that the manager of the store where the other posisiton opened up, which meant one of our people would leave our store and I'd go for his job, has already made up her mind that she's going to make an internal promotion.

It sounds like she was just going through the motions when she iterviewed other people. Which also means, I don't really want to transfer to a store where there's that kind of mentality.

BUT I do wonder what would happen at our store if someone from another store applied for the open position in our store. Would my manager be openminded enough to interview them? Yeah, I think she would and if they were the best fir for the role, she would hire them, even if it meant annoying the current staff.

The Law of Gravity

My wife emailed me this morning:

Okay, this morning, one of the people that I work with told me that our balloons are defective. She couldn't believe that when she filled them up (by blowing into them) that they just fell to the floor and didn't float in the air. I told her that her breath is not lighter than the air that surrounds us and the balloon would fall to the floor. That it would need to be filled with something lighter than the air around us in order to float. Like h-e-l-i-u-m.

She swore up and down that balloons float when you blow them up with your own air, and got quite annoyed with me when I disagreed."

Just when I think people can't be any more stupid, one comes along.

Poker (revisited)

Poker night again last night. Pretty much like usual. I won a few hands to start and then watched my chip stack dwindle. Came down to a point where I was getting desparate. I had all my original $25 chips, but was short stacked. So kinda had to make my move, and wanted to steal a few blinds. I risked it 2 or 3 times and went all in pre-flop. Luckily no one had cards to play.

Then I got an Ace 3. Not a great hand. But I was in the blinds so saw the flop pretty cheaply. The board paired. I think we checked and saw the turn. The board got two pairs. So two pairs and my ace kicker. I was pretty sure that would hold up. Especially since no one (Doug) had raised on the flop. Then Doug went all in. I was pretty certain he didn't have the full house. Worst case, he had an ace and we'd split.

I called.

He asked to see my ace, so I showed him. He showed me a King. My heart started to beat faster. I might actually double up here and pretty much wipe him out.
Now his only saving card would be to split the pot with a full house, or the unlikely King.

Guess what the river was?

A close shave NOT!

A man, in his upper 30's, we'll call him Dillip, goes into the bathroom and notices he has quite a few days growth of a beard. So he starts to shave it off with his trusty electic shaver.

About half way through the shaver gets slower and slower until it grinds to a halt.

He has to pull it away from the beard which it's become snagged in. He looks at it. Turns it off and on a few times... Nothing.
He uses his keen intelect and technical knowledge and hits it a few times.

Nothing.

He sighs and looks in the mirror. He now has half a neatly trimmed face.
Mild panic sets in and he looks around for the bag up rasor he knows he doesn't have.
He resorts to hitting the electric shaver again.

Nothing

He checks the time and realises he has time to get a new one and get back well before he need be at work.
Then panic again as he realises he has to go outside, to a shop, with half a beard!

He gets to the shop. We'll call it Mal-Wart. Convinced that everyone is staring at him. He rushes to the place where he thinks the shavers are. Not wanting to have to ask where they are, and picks out a nice new trimmer. He rushes through the checkout, trying to hide half his face in his upturned collar. Thankful that at least it's cold outside.

Getting home, he hurridly takes the nice new shiny trimmer from it's box and plugs it in and turns it on.

Nothing!

He hits it.

Nothing.

He then reads the instructions. "Must be fully charge 14-17 hours before first use"

!

He looks at his face, looks at the old shaver. Swears at it, hits it and....

It starts working.

St Patricks Day

I've often wondered why St Patricks Day is so much bigger over here in the USofA than in Ireland. Listening to the radio this morning and 34,000,000 americans claim irish decent. That's over 8 times the number of people that actually live in Ireland. So hardly a surprise that the parties are bigger over here.

So, top o' tha morning to ya. Don't drink too much.

Resignation

Sorry to go on about the job promotion, but hey, it's big news in my little world and hey, this is my blog.

Looks less likely that I'll get it. I thought maybe 1 or 2 people were interested, but it seems that everyone who's been in the store more than a year is applying. Which makes it really hard, since all started before me. I still hold on to the small glimmer of hope that I actually rock and will get it. But right now, I have to say that I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get it.

I have formed an alliance with one of the other people going for it. Not sure what we can do to progress ourselves further through. Also doesn't help that she's probably the most likely to get the promotion (if it were my decision).

So, back on the front burner is the other promotion at the different store. I'm trying to think of an analogy. Imagine your job is sitting in a field on a warm summers day with yummy food and a broadband connection and then a chance comes up to move to a field full of posion ivy with nothing to eat but corned beef sandwiches and no broadband, but you'll get more money and be more senior. Would you take it?

Maybe I could get used to cornedbeef.

Resigned

I think I've decided to not pursue the position at the other store. At least for now. I'm going to stay at my current store and if I get the promotion, then that's really cool, really really cool and if not, I'll think again what I want to do.

The other thing that's on my mind is the other person(s) who may go for the position. If I get it and they don't I don't want that to affect my relationship with them. I like all of them and I think it may be tricky if I get the promotion. Not saying I'd turn it down, just not sure how to handle the situation. Low key I think is best. Act as if nothing has changed. Gonna have to play it by ear I think.

Two weeks till I get to go to England!!! Woohoo!!! Which is another worry, since the interview provess may well start when I'm away. Guess I'll have to chat to my boss sometime before then.

Decisions

So what do I do?

#1 There's a shift leader position at another store that I would like. Means more money, more responsibility etc.
But I really don't want to leave my current store. But I should really do what's best for my progression through the company.

#2 There's also an assistant manager at this other store, which is probably going to be filled by a shift leader at my current store. Which means.....

#3 If he gets it, then a position opens up at my current store that I would like. But

#4 There are a few other people that are probably just, if not more deserving of the position.

#5 If I hold out for the possibility of getting the promotion in my store, then it may be too late to apply for the position in the other store.

So, what do I do? Stay at my current store and see if I get the promotion?
Apply for the position at the other store which would be OK, if the bloke I know gets his promotion.

I dunno what to do.

Check my ticket!!!

Gale and I had quite an arty weekend. We went to a large (and quite posh) Antique fair held in the Indiana State Fairground. I've been before and it's pretty cool. Lots of expensive things that are probably overpriced. The people who decide the value should be people willing to buy the things, not the people selling them. A desk is only worth something if someone wants it. It's not worth anything sitting with a high price ticket in some arty-farty antique dealers warehouse. But I like looking at the things. I like the antique prints and engravings. And unlike most "antique" malls I've been to in America, this actually has things that a Brit would consider antique.

I did get to see antique legend (legend who knows antique, not saying she's old) Judith Miller. Which isn't exactly a major celeb, but I used to watch her on various shows in Blighty. Shame I didn't have something for her to value.

It's not a huge show, so we finished early and decided to go to the Indianapolis Museum of Art. We're members, so get free entry. And Puck's restaurant is there which is great. So we had a really amazingly expensive lunch. But it was pretty yummy. But worth the money? Maybe not. It's a buffet, so maybe if you're really hungry you can get a good deal. I tried a little of everything though and it was nice food. Deserts were gorgeous too. If only I could have squeezed in the rest of the lime pie thing.

Then we went around the shop. Which is free to enter for everyone. Then decided to visit the recently opened contemporary wing. Which you do need tickets for, but since we're members, we didn't go to the ticket desk. We just went upstairs, our membership cards at the ready and totally didn't get asked for them. The few members of staff we saw were unhappily mulling around making sure kids didn't get sticky finger prints over the art. I was quite upset. Membership isn't that cheap and the benefit of having a membership kinda disappears if people don't check for tickets. (Last time I went was on a Thursday which is free for everyone anyway). So in the year I've been a member, I've not actually had any benefit to it.

The main exhibition we looked at was Amy Cutler. An illustrator I wasn't aware of before. And I quote "Inspired by stories and images encountered at random through mass media, book illustrations, folktales and personal experiences, Amy Cutler creates exquisitely detailed, enigmatic paintings that obsessively illustrate scenes of women, animals and hybrid beings engaged in magical, dreamlike activities. Her works incorporate references that have been described as "snippets of Laura Ingalls Wilder, Hieronymus Bosch and Masterpiece Theatre plotlines."

Her work was childlike. She certainly has a skill and an art, but I'm not really anymore a fan than I was before. I couldn't really see any similarities to Bosch. I felt it more had a hint of Gorey (who I am a fan of). A kind of turn of the century feel to it.

We also went around the contemporary galleries. Some I like. Some I just don't get. I'm really not the kind of chap who will say "interesting, I like what the artist did here", I'm more the kind who will look for a meaning and then say "It's just a piece of string". One piece was a piece of red wool stretched from the centre of the floor to a point on the wall. I read the information about it and it had words like "intersecting" and " dividing" but to me, it's just a piece of string.

There were a few pieces I liked though. In a case was an open book with what at first glance appears to have tiny writing on it. But as you look, the writing appears to be moving. Closer and closer I looked until I could see it was lines of people actually marching. The people were projected from above onto the white page. I don't profess to understand what the artist was trying to archive, but thought the idea was cool.

Another piece I liked was a video. An artist (sorry, I'm crap when it comes to remembering names) set up four male actors into poses similar to the old masters. Reminded me of Reubens.
The artist told the actors to go through a set range of emotions over the course of a minute. He filmed them using a high speed film and then played it back on a large plasma screen over the course of 15 minutes. So you had to stare at the screen to be able to see the movement. Doesn't really come across as I explain it, but it was quite fascinating.

I suggest you check out the IMA, it really is worth the entry fee, which seems to be nothing in general. Next time they better check my membership or I won't be happy!

Should we be worried?

It's pretty amazing what you can find on the net. You may have heard of GoogleEarth, now micro$oft are getting in on the act. I found these two pictures. This shows my house from a few years ago. (The lawn isn't much better now). You notice you can even see into the garage! And the other shows the house from behind. Wonderful technology really. You can now really say "Hey, I can see my house from here!"

Some things that are still illegal.

These laws still apply in Indiana -

A person must get a referral from a licensed physician if he or she wishes to see a hypnotist unless the desired procedure is to quit smoking or lose weight.

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

Oral sex is illegal.

A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.

It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.

It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.

You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.

One man may not back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.

Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.

Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.

Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.

You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do it.

Drinks on the house are illegal.

"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.

All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.

Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.

If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.

Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.

A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.

The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.

It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offenses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days. (Auburn)

It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park. (Beech Grove)

It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears. (Elkhart)

While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on. (Evansville)

You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It's In the Book". (Fort Wayne)

Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar. (Gary)

It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. (South Bend)

No one may spit on the sidewalk. (Terre Haute)

No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.

Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.

Poker Night Passed

Played my first ever hand of face to face poker. Little bit nervous to be sure. I've never handled chips before, never had to work out the bets and turns myself before. It's a lot to remember. But the guys I played against were patient. I really enjoyed myself. Probably being chip leader for a little while helped that.

The only downside was that I knew from the outset I wouldn't be able to go the distance and went in knowing I was not going to finish. I've been working at Greenwood store this week and it's very physical work. Lots of shifting of books and shelves and its constant shift work. Not like we get a break on register or something. Anyway, I was pretty much shattered. But poker was actually quite relaxing. A few beers and a game of poker. It's almost theraputic.

I'll return and I'll actually be totally in the game next time. Hopefully I'll be able to go the distance and maybe even stand a chance of winning. We'll see.